- Helper child- Have a pretty easy time. Helper children are rarely rebellious and they like to follow rules and listen to authority. They also like to be responsible. They are naturally cautious and their fears can be reinforced by their parents. Helper parents like their children to be quiet and know the social rules. They feel it is a reflection on them. These children need to be encourage to be adventurous.
- Player child- The usually get along very well when the child is young. Have rules to keep them reined in works well as they are growing up. Then once they hit their teens, it can be harder. The same rules and discipline doesn't seem to work anymore. This tension can cause Player children to rebel and get into some bad situations. It works better if the Helper parent realizes they need to change their tactics and support the things that can give their Player child the stimulation they need. They should encourage them to do sports, arts, create a band, learn how to use tools. Letting them shine in their talents and encouraging them.
- Feeler child- Very few problems. The Feeler child is naturally a good kid, moral, cooperative, and they care about doing what is right. They like to serve and help others. These are all things that Helper parents want to instill in their children. There can be problems when the Feeler child feels annoyed that the Helper parent keeps reminding them to do these things that they already naturally do. It can be very annoying when the parents get the credit, when the child was doing it because they valued these.
- Thinker child- Helper parents admire the seriousness of their Thinker child and their wish to learn. But punishment can be tough. Thinker children don't like authority and they are very individually minded and they don't like being told how to think and what to do. If the Helper parent reverts to punishment it can be felt as a violation. There can be estrangement between this grouping. But usually there is a Player parent as well since they are a good portion of the population. This allows there to be a balance with a hands-off parent.
- Helper child- No real difficulty between them. Player parents tries to encourage cautious Helper child to find adventure and have fun. This can be very good for Helper children because they can loosen up and not be so cautious.
- Player child- Great pals, they have so much in common with each other. Both are adventurous and the child needs no prompting from the Player parent to have fun and to go out there. Sometimes there are enough limits from the parent.
- Feeler child- There can be trouble for the Player parent to understand the Feeler child. But Player parent can be a great role model for the Feeler and help them be more involved in the world instead of their imaginary ones. Parent is usually kind even though they don't fully understand them.
- Thinker child- This can be a very happy relationship. Since the Player parent is usually pretty hands-off, it works well for the Thinker child who wants to be independent and work on their own. The Thinker child usually needs no encouragement to learn and study, but they need encouragement to put down their studies and go have some fun. May not understand them like the Feeler, but still kind toward them without fully understanding them.
- Helper child- Since the Helper child is a cooperative type and doesn't show the signs of a Helper as early, the Feeler parent often thinks they are a Feeler too. They encourage what is important to them and eventually they see that the child values different things. Once they see this, they encourage the Helper child in the things that matter to them, responsibility, rule keeping, socialization.
- Player child- The Feeler parent is usually puzzled by the Player child because they are so different. The Player child doesn't seek the deep relationship that a Feeler parent wants. This can be extremely disappointing to them until come to the realization of what the child values. Once they identify that they want to pursue sports and arts, they are very encouraging.
- Feeler child- Feeler parents want to enhance empathy, benevolence, and authenticity in their children. Their Feeler children understand what they are talking about when they discuss these ideas and work hard to do better at them because they value them too. This understanding allows them to support each other in these endeavors. But at times they can rub each other the wrong way if they are not on the same page with their ideals.
- Thinker child- This relationship usually is a very strong tie. But it can be hard for the Feeler parent to understand their Thinker child and how they can be so pragmatic and autonomous. The Feeler parent learns that their Thinker child needs room and space and values them for what and who they are. Encouraging them to go after what they want.
- Helper child- This relationship can have problems and can be frustrating. The Helper child is trying to please the Thinker parent by what it values, socialization, following rules, and being cautious. The Thinker parent is bothered by their child wanting to fit in and completely trust authority and not being a little adventurous that they don't understand their child. Both are trying to help the other, but the don't match up which causes the problem. The Thinker parent usually lets the other spouse (which is usually another type) take most of the control.
- Player child- The Thinker parent usually makes a great parent of a Player child. They have firm bounds that the Player child learns to function in. The Thinker still allows the individuality to be impulsive and explore with the safety of bounds. They encourage them to go after their interests and develop those.
- Feeler child- Feeler children have a lot of emotions and being confronted and just add fuel to the flame. The Thinker parent is quick to figure out what their children need whether they can provide it or their spouse. They will sit back and watch and let it diffuse. They will admire their Feeler's enthusiasm and imagination. This common imaginative nature create a strong bond that lasts and rarely falls apart.
- Thinker child- Very few children listen to reason. But Thinker children do. This makes it so there is very little difficulty in this relationship. They can reason and discuss with their children and so there is very little tension. The Thinker parent likes seeing themselves in their child. But they usually see that they need someone to teach them social development. They usually have their spouse help with this.
*Research from Dr. Keirsey's book Please Understand Me II.
**Your relationship might be different, this was just based off of research
**Your relationship might be different, this was just based off of research
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