The TRUE Definition of Extrovert and Introvert

"Because my child is an introvert, I'm worried they won't have friends."

"I feel like I never get a break because my child is an extrovert and so I feel like I always have to be with them."

"As an introvert, I don't think my child will ever be able to have a healthy social experience."

"I'm afraid my extrovert child won't be able to function by themselves or have down time."

These are some comments I've heard from parents about fears with their children being introverts or extroverts. A lot of these fears can be eased by learning the TRUE definition of what it means to be an extrovert and introvert. I feel that understanding this subject also helps with learning situations and in other social interactions.

In Keirsey's book, there is an analogy given to describe the difference between the two. Think of a battery and how it needs to be recharged. Introverts and extroverts do this differently. An introvert recharges usually by themselves, while extroverts get charged while they are interacting with others. Now this probably sounds familiar if you know if you are an extrovert or an introvert. Remember how I discussed in one of my previous posts, personality types are mixtures of all the types, but one is more dominant? Well this is the same with extrovert and introvert. One is more dominant, but we still have the other side as well.

Now we get to the part that many don't understand. Just because an introvert gets charged being alone, doesn't mean they always want to be alone or never interact with others. They like to see their friends, families, and attend events like everyone else. But their limit for the time spent there will probably be shorter than an extrovert. When an introvert is in those situations, they are giving away energy, their charge, and so they become drained. Once this happens, it is time for them to leave and recharge. This time will vary for each person.

An extrovert receives energy, their charge, from being around others. They will get more energized as they interact and converse and will usually have a hard time leaving if it has been very enjoyable. This doesn't mean that they don't need downtime. They can have so much stimulation, it is good for them to have time to calm down and take a break. This may be short or less frequent, but still needed and a good skill to have to be able to be by yourself at times.

So how does this affect teaching and others situations? 

By understanding the definition of extrovert and introvert, you can start to understand why your child might act certain ways. Keirsey uses different titles when he discusses extrovert and introvert to more accurately describe them. He calls introverts "reserved" and extroverts "expressive". 

These names can help guide you to know how to let them function in a learning situation. Those who are reserved may need other ways to share their information with the class or with you. Let them write their thoughts, or record them on a video or voice recording. I'm not saying they shouldn't learn the skill of talking with others, but be sensitive to moments when they might especially be feeling drained. This also applies to when they are required to work with groups. Feel out or talk with them about how they are feeling that day and working in groups. To help them be successful or feel comfortable, you can offer options to work by themselves or in a quieter space like the library.

Expressive types will want to work with groups and share their thoughts usually. Give them those opportunities to interact and charge their batteries. But make sure to allow them time to work alone. They need it and like I said before, it is a good skill for them to learn. Those who are really extroverts, will have a hard time, which I'm sure you've noticed. They are the ones who will constantly be talking to their neighbors. They probably aren't trying to be rebellious, they just feel very inclined to talk and interact. These are great times to teach them some skills for how to work alone. One skill you can teach them is to write their thoughts down in a notebook that they can share later with those they had wanted to talk to.  

This knowledge will also help when you are with your children at family events, theme parks, sporting events, or other places where they interact with others. Just be sensitive to your child's needs and what options you can offer to help them enjoy their time.

As a footnote, there can be other reasons children might have a hard time with groups or crowds. There can be bullying, low self esteem, not feeling smart enough, alienation, cultural differences, anxiety, and other problems. Be on the lookout for these reasons too, they will require other interventions to help them succeed.